Haibun

                                                            SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT

 

The EMS attendant in the ambulance keeps asking me questions trying to keep me alert. A feeling of weakness and nearly passing out necessitated this ride on Christmas Eve.

 

At the hospital, a full emergency room.  Very young children in the cubicles on either side of me.  They don’t understand what’s going on and cry.  I don’t understand either.   After a number of tests, an overnight stay connected to a heart monitor.

 

                                                           Christmas dawn–

                                                           a pink horizon

                                                           comes with the nurse

 

Vital signs taken and more tests.  I’m given a good breakfast and a bad lunch.

 

                                                           eating desert first–

                                                           memories of Christmas past

                                                           fill the afternoon

 

I wait for test results, sharing the holiday silence with my husband. Late in the afternoon, a visit from a doctor.  No conclusive diagnosis he says. Dehydration or a heart valve problem.  He urges follow-up tests in a couple of weeks, to which I agree.  He also urges another night in the hospital, to which I don’t agree. 

 

                                                          Christmas night

                                                          going home on wet streets

                                                          flickering thoughts 

 

 

Presence,  2010