LOST and FOUND
The pain of loss never goes away permanently. Sometimes remembering brings sadness, sometimes joy, sometimes pain. The realization that so many once in my life are gone pounds like a full-blown migraine. Again, I go through an array of emotions, wishing I had said this or that, done this or that. Husband, father, mother, brother-in-law, people I have known well and those who were only acquaintances. It hurts to remember, but it would hurt more if I forgot, if I tried and couldn't picture my husband as he sat reading, my mother smiling as she stitched a dress for me, my father whistling as he made the Christmas dinner, Archie as he smoked his cigar and sipped a scotch, Herman as he sat at a picnic table laughing with my son. The pleasure and the pain.
when to bloom