SILENT NIGHT, HOLY NIGHT
The EMS attendant in the ambulance keeps asking me questions trying to keep me alert. A feeling of weakness and nearly passing out necessitated this ride on Christmas Eve.
At the hospital, a full emergency room. Very young children in the cubicles on either side of me. They don’t understand what’s going on and cry. I don’t understand either. After a number of tests, an overnight stay connected to a heart monitor.
Christmas dawn–
a pink horizon
comes with the nurse
Vital signs taken and more tests. I’m given a good breakfast and a bad lunch.
eating desert first–
memories of Christmas past
fill the afternoon
I wait for test results, sharing the holiday silence with my husband. Late in the afternoon, a visit from a doctor. No conclusive diagnosis he says. Dehydration or a heart valve problem. He urges follow-up tests in a couple of weeks, to which I agree. He also urges another night in the hospital, to which I don’t agree.
Christmas night
going home on wet streets
flickering thoughts
Presence, 2010
